Eloping – helpful tips and advice

An elopement carries a whole different meaning to what it once was. Eloping, the act of secretly marrying without parental or societal approval, has a long and evolving history, ranging from ancient times to its modern-day popularity. Originally, it was often a rebellion against societal norms or religious restrictions, with couples seeking to marry the person they truly loved despite opposition. Over time, the reasons for eloping have changed, but the core concept of seeking a more intimate and personal wedding experience remains. Moreover, since the pandemic there has been a huge increase in small intimate ceremonies. I’ve witnessed this as part of my work and last year I was one of those statistics after my partner and I decided to tie the knot on a mountain in Scotland with just our two boys present.

Advantages of a small affair

There are some major advantages – you don’t have the stress of organising a huge wedding, you don’t have to spend thousands on one day and the sky’s the limit when it comes to choosing exactly what YOU want. Elopements are about having a stress free, laid-back and incredible experience. And you can include your kids too! Elopements are meant to shift the focus from your family and friends to just you, the couple. How many people have I heard say they felt like their wedding was for everyone else and how they wished they’d done it differently. Crafting your own day means it can be exactly the experience you want it to be. And that doesn’t necessarily mean a quick one hour ceremony and going home again.

Location

Yes, you can choose your dream location. And it doesn’t have to break the budget. Give this time and consideration – do you want to be somewhere warm, cold, mountainous, beach, countryside, town…remote, with people about, somewhere which is special for both of you or that neither of you have been to before? Think of the time of year you want to get married and think about the light as this leads onto my next tip – hiring a photographer and/or videographer.

For us, well, we could’ve gone to Brighton town hall but it would undoubtedly have felt like work for me and as we’re both outdoor enthusiasts it became a dream to have our civil partnership (a conscious choice over a marriage) on top of a mountain. Scotland is the perfect destination for this as it’s legal to do outside. Signing our certificate on top of the Quiraing mountain range on Skye (with our photographer and celebrant as witnesses) was truly unforgetable. And despite it being March we were gifted with the most stunning sunrise (to ward off those cold temperatures we can highly recommend these heat warmers both for us and the children).

Photographer and videographer

This is where you will spend most of your money when it comes to an elopement. Most people want to treasure their intimate day by way of professional photos – it doesn’t mean it has to detract from the intimacy of your day but it does makes a difference you choose. Someone you are completely comfortable with is vital. They will elevate your experience so make sure you meet them in person or failing that on a video call. We felt like we were meeting friends in Oli and Steph. They are experts in their field as they live on the Isle of Skye so knew exactly where to guide us.

Check the marriage laws

This will take some research especially if you’re getting married abroad. Of course you could just go for a symbolic ceremony which means the ceremony you have on your day won’t be legally binding. Couples who choose this route generally get married legally where they live so the paperwork is out of the way and they don’t have to deal with all the logistics. This makes sense especially if you’re getting married in a country you don’t live.

Who to invite

This is a big question and one which often leads people to shelve their elopement plans for fear of upsetting family and friends. The idea of an elopement, if you’re having anyone, is to keep the number to a minimum and it just often includes close friends and family. Or in our case, just the four of us. It kept it incredible simple. We have families on opposite sides of the world and too many close friends to be able to just single out a few. As a result it was an incredibly chilled day and afterwards we went for pizza and beer before going on a hike with the kids and a sea swim. One day we will get round to organising a big party to celebrate and then the flood gates will be open to include everyone!